#Covid

"Is it covid or just a cough" is my 2021 game of the year.

Boosted.

Any Portsmouth people: Kingston Surgery are doing walk-in boosters today until 5:30 and for the rest of the week.

Booo Bowling for Soup gig has been moved to next year 😭️ thanks brexit covid

"Due to covid we're experiencing longer wait times"

This was believable a year ago, not 18 months into the pandemic

gotta make sure the sport boys can do their sports no matter what https://twitter.com/EmmaBostian/status/1448316278637203469

I'm well aware of the feeling of renewing domains for projects I never finished, but having to renew my wedding one is on a new level.

Covid: PM and chancellor not isolating after Javid test https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-57877373

“We have to isolate”

“There’s a new very real and not made up just now pilot scheme that means we don’t”

Boris poked his head out the door and saw his shadow

Vaccine booked 🎉️

33+ is opening up now on the NHS website, have at it

The CDC says fully vaccinated people can dance if they want to. They can leave their friends behind.

Voters: "Clap for the NHS"

"Also maybe vote for a party that will actually focus on the NHS?"

Voters: "Nah"

Laughter is the best vaccine

Government: You may meet people outside

People: Meets people outside

Media: LOOK AT THESE PEOPLE SO IRRESPONSIBLE

"People are keen to return to the office..."

Oh how interesting, I wonder where this conclusion has come from

"...says a boss at Britain's biggest office and retail complex"

Right.

I’ve watched over 100 episodes of Four in a Bed in the last year so don’t talk to be about achieving things during lockdown.

https://news.sky.com/story/covid-19-holiday-starved-britons-flock-to-book-a-break-after-lockdown-exit-plans-revealed-12226330

This seems like a bad idea

March 2020: I don't think much of this working from home, this is where I live
October 2020: I should order some comfier pyjamas
February 2021: orders an Oodie I am one with the house

If I was making a vaccine I would simply make one that only requires one dose and also made loads of it

who had "sea shanties make a comeback" on their 2021 bingo card

Lockdown 3: Tokyo Drift

Tier 2: High
Tier 3: Very High
Tier 4: Verizon Ultra High 5G Max

https://twitter.com/_ewp/status/1328289802748375040

My coworkers are a nightmare

At least I can get back to my perpetual covid-related anxiety now

“I’m a living woman” is an incredible defence to not following the lockdown rules https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kxw_N3IJFQs&feature=share

Lockdown 2: The Lockdownening

tbh it’s all gone a bit downhill since Tiger King

Imagine being the mayor of a city which is basically just a ceremonial role and now you're in charge of negotiating with the government to get funding.

"I just wanted to wear the fancy robes and cut some ribbons"

Good advice for life in general tbh

Happy March 215th everyone.

We finally have a COVID app just in time for me to not go anywhere for 6 months

HANDSFACESPACE

Finding it very hard to have sympathy for the people the news are interviewing who decided to go on an international holiday during a pandemic

"And he tells parents who are reluctant to send their children back, there is "no reason for your kids to miss out on their education"."

Except for that pesky virus, sure.

Thank god the shops are open again

"The first rule of street bingo is that you really must try and tell as many people as possible about it. It's a rather fun game and the more people you tell about it the better"

The government are apparently going to suspend Sunday trading laws?

It’s about fucking time.

It’s amazing that the government has managed to convince people to be angry at their neighbours for doing things the government said they can do.

The risk hasn’t changed, stay the fuck home.

I would hope everyone knows this, but to be sure: just because the government is allowing people meet up, go to shops, whatever, doesn't mean the risk has changed. There's still just as much risk as there was before, but there's room at the hospital for you.

Lockdown’s over then. Do whatever you feel like.

Don’t mind me just ordering a mask on Amazon

If the Prime Minister sees his shadow it’s three more weeks of lockdown

What the hell does “stay alert” mean? Look out for the virus? This is so dumb.

“The current limit on outdoor exercise is once a day, alone or with members of your household.”

Does anyone at the BBC fact check anything before they report it? This just isn’t true.

I miss Nando’s

My mum swooping in with the Tiger King hot takes

That’s not at all ominous

Sorry boss, I can’t start work this morning

March 1st vs March 31st

Good job we’re on lockdown so I’ve got time to work out how to change the clock on my oven.

Imagine if the government put this much effort into helping the vulnerable all the time.

To the recruiter emailing about a job for immediate start with an office in central London: probably not right now.

Tesco didn’t have any bread so I had to make do with what they did have

The real lockdown is the friends you made along the way (at a safe distance).

My WFH supervisor is a bit of a hard ass

A week into lockdown and I’m already talking about what I’m going to do when I get out.

“couples should "test" the strength of their relationship and decide whether they want to live permanently with each other”

This government is out of control 🙃️

We’ve been grounded.

Can’t wait for the weekend so I can sit in my house some more.

The first 20 minutes of work Slack is just people reporting in how bad the supermarket was.

“He says the introduction of curfews and prohibitions on movement must only come ”at the right moment“.”

So that’ll be by this time next week for sure.

I think we need more pet photos being very helpful during this time of isolation, social distancing, and working from home. I’ll start #WFHPets

I had a good idea for a joke about desperate times but I don’t want to waste food so just imagine I posted a photo of a pasta bake but instead of pasta its Doritos

My work from home routine:

  1. Get up
  2. Open the BBC News live feed
  3. Stare in horror for 8 hours and wait for the daily briefing
  4. Repeat

My washing machine affects the bluetooth connection of my mouse.

Working from home is weird.

Schools in Wales and Scotland are closing from Friday. England and NI can’t be far behind.

Things are going well

Me this morning after finding toilet roll in Lidl

Pep-talk for the newly-remote team

WFH now. I’m glad lots of you like working from home but, like, this is my home.

Just went to Asda. Someone hold me I’m scared.

We’re in the worst possible timeline